I planned on writing about hair tonight, but that'll have to wait. Today was a very sad day in my quest to be master of the universe, or at least northern Wisconsin.
Kim and I arrived today in Green Bay after leaving Chicago (which was very fun!). Unfortunately, my delusions of NFL grandeur were smashed to smithereens the size of the Higgs Bosun particle. As previously stated, being an idiotic sucker who paid a fee to help fund a stadium renovation and given a non-transferable stock certificate owner of the Green Bay Packers football team, I feel that I am owed mucho respect from the folks at Lambeau Field. With this in mind, I was prepared to go into the stadium this afternoon at all costs. I envisioned a scene like this:
Security: "I am sorry, sir, but no one is allowed into the stadium during the off season."
Me: "Excuse me, Mr. Blart, but I happen to be R. Watson, one of 364,000 minority owners of this team."
Security: "Oh goodness! I am soooooo sorry Mr. Watson. Had I realized it was you, I would have spoken with more deference and had the champagne chilled."
Me: "That's OK, Blart. Just don't let it happen again."
Security: "Oh no sir, I would never make such a blatant mistake again. Please accept my humble apologies."
Me: "Well, this time I'll let it go, but if it happens again, I'm going to have to talk to the other 363,999 shareholders and propose that we take away that plastic cheese head you're wearing."
Security: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please NOOOOOOOOOO!"
ETC ETC ETC (you get the idea)
What actually happened was this.....
The stadium is apparently open to everyone during the off-season and no-one could care less if I walked in the front door or not. To make matters worse, Kim and I got hopelessly lost on the way back to the hotel. Oh, well.
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