Felonious Monk

When I think of words to describe me, these come to mind. Amazing, Wonderful, Perfect, Stellar, Omniscient, Super, Super-duper, Marvelous, Top-notch and of course, Humble.  One word not included is scofflaw. Well, I have been close to adding that to the list recently.

On Thursday, going to my weekly guitar lesson, I realized that I forgot my driver's license at home. Not being a pro at subverting the law, I was quite nervous during the 5 mile drive. I can only imagine it was how a felonious fugitive must feel every waking moment- being eagle-eyed to the imminent presence of the 5-0. Not being able to trust anyone. Contemplating fleeing to Switzerland. Fearful of seeing my face on the post office wall. Luckily, I made it home sans incident. 

As if that were not bad enough, yesterday going into the Dinosphere at the children's museum. I noted there was a sign prohibiting food or drink in that area. Well, I had just re-filled my diet-coke at the cafeteria fountain. Given the choice of pouring it out and taking it with me (anarchy now!), I nestled in into Reid's stroller and took surreptitious sips from it inside the exhibit. Kim finds this especially onerous as she has worked in many a museum. I must admit that the frissons of excitement that shook my body each time I passed a docent were volcanic. Of course, I am sorry for this, but I can't be stopped! Maybe an intervention is in order? Maybe I am not rehabilitative, maybe I'll end up in the clink. It remains to be seen whether my future holds the sweet scent of freedom, or the malodorous stench of solitary confinement. I only hope Carter and Reid will grow up knowing me as daddy and not as "that guy who picks up trash on the highway in an orange jumpsuit."

Kim has a contact inside the museum. She was able to give us this grainy still shot from the  security camera. I shows me flashing gang signs to my peeps. Although I was a bit too big to fit into this tunnel area built for small children, I was able to muscle my way in by tossing a few infants and toddlers aside.