Dear madam,
As I was getting off the highway today to go to our latest hotel, I had to consult with my lovely bride about whether to turn left or right. It is true that I did not see you behind me initially. I did however hear the beautious wail of your car's horn. That is where the magic happened! I glanced in the rearview mirror to see what the kerfuffle was all about. Your beauty made me shiver. I must also say that the harried hand gestures you were making transfixed me. Some may have interpreted them as obscene. I saw them as a sign of true love!
With that in mind, let me offer my apologies for then driving in front of you going 1-2 miles per hour (up that steep hill that you so wanted to climb faster than me). You see, fair maiden, I was mesmorized by your corpulent beauty. With a body mass index nearing the triple digits, I was hoping, praying, believing with all my heart that your continued honking and gesturing was really an amourous code for me to join you at the Golden Corral all-you-can-eat buffet. If you read this missive, please please please come to me asap!
Love,
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