Special Delivery

Fed-Ex, UPS, even Roadway Express, I know that I have had dalliances with all of you. I regret to inform you that it was all fake- my true love is the U.S. Postal Service. Always has been and always will be. Let's face it, how could one not fall prey to the allure of a quasi-governmental agency that delivers to your door (or mailbox here in suburbia) six days a week, excluding federal holidays? And they only get funding from stamp sales! A truly exceptional organization.

With my ardent love for all things postal (except for those periodic massacres), I would like to discuss the mail I received via my paramour today:

One GQ magazine that I got with expiring frequent flier miles. I'm not much of a GQ guy, but you get what you can with limited miles.

One invitation to become (for 20 bucks!) a card-carrying member of the Secular Humanists. If I were single, I would join because that would help me woo the ladies.  This is no longer an option and I am currently unemployed, so I won't spend 20 dollars for this. :(

One Verizon bill. Hooray!

And the "piece de resistance"..... one invitation to the Green Bay Packers annual shareholder meeting. Oh yes, yours truly is an NFL owner. Not just any shareholder mind you, but one of 364,000! That's an exclusive club and one that I am proud to be a part of. I waited by the phone during the draft, but they never called me for my opinion. I can't for the life of me figure out why not.