Diamond truths

There are a few things that are no-brainers when it comes to summer. First and foremost, the kids are out of school and need whatever sort of guidance it is that kids need (?). Gargantuan bugs appear and attack at will, often inviting their friends. Humidity makes an appearance and sticks around, figuratively and literally. Ice cream shops are all about the Benjamins and baseball comes out of hibernation.

Attending baseball games can be a lot of fun and an excellent way to get horribly sunburned. It is also a great venue for people-watching and there are a few archetypes that can invariably be counted on:

1.The college girls who dress like they are going clubbing instead of sitting in front of a game.

2. Their boyfriends who high-five each other at regular intervals for no apparent reason.

 

3. The little kids who run amok because their parents are "taking some time to themselves."

4. The guy who brings his glove to catch a foul ball (see #2). Usually this glove is from 1981 and could not catch a wiffle ball, let alone a screaming line drive coming in for landing in his hoochie-mama's (see #1)  $10 beer. 

5. The old overdressed guy who keeps score with a golf pencil and leaves a mountain of peanut shells around him.

6. The group outing. Normally, neither the kids nor chaperones have ever attended a game and all are oblivious to all other fans.

7. The self-absorbed texters. Oh wait, they are everywhere. 

And  last but not least.... a very rare bird not generally seen, but attends occasionally: A fan who actually pays attention to the action on the field (other than the old guys keeping score, that is, but these geriatrics cannot physically get out of their seats and live at the ballpark).

With that in mind, feel free to head on out to a ball game and see for yourself. Oh yeah, don't forget grandpa's glove for those foul balls. Or learn how to duck.