Kids for sale

I have been thinking for the past few days about what I'd like to post here. There were a few ideas that I felt were even too outlandish for me. One of them was an intimate look at how the Elephant Man, John Merrick, would fare in modern day society. Doing mundane activities such as riding a bike, putting on a motorcycle helmet, golfing, etc. I think we all see why I ditched that idea (at least for now!). There have been other ideas as well, but I've already forgotten them. While I was driving home the other day, I saw one of those guys sitting on the corner holding a sign for a store. Like a human billboard. That got me thinking....

What if I strapped Reid to the front and Carter to the back of me and got temporary tattoos for local businesses emblazoned all over their bodies? I have seen boxers do this before. I could rent out my kids' derma to the highest bidders. Some may think this is completely unethical, but I think it is a great way to make some money. Of course I would only strut with them attached to me on the hottest of days. The real benefit would be the size of my calves after a few days of doing this. Maybe the IOC would give me funding so I could race in the 2014 Rio games. I hear it's too late to qualify for London.